2005-04-19
Now I really do feel like a sook and sulky little girl. I can�t help it, well I guess I can but my bottom lip has seriously dropped. I had been worried about not seeing Sam online, but I guess not worried enough to call him. I knew he was going away and it took a couple of weeks to realise I hadn�t seen him online. Sam is the last person I gave my heart to willingly and had that love returned. I can say that he was the last person I REALLY LOVED.Anyway I saw him online last night and he tells me that�s he�s finally met someone he likes. I wasn�t ready for that; I don�t suppose I would ever be ready for that. He told me that she is intelligent, strong willed, great mother, loving and cute. He asked me if it reminded me of anyone?�..He was alluding to me of course. I could barely manage to type anything�.so I typed �.smile.
I�m happy for him he deserves someone great and god knows it�s been three years since he and I met in the physical sense. So he�s due. He told me he was excited and ready. I know all of that, so why am I feeling so antsy about it?
Well I guess it�s because I thought I would always be his number one. I know that�s just stupid, I know, I know already. Am I jealous? Freaking hell I think I am�.see I told you I�m a sook and spoiled little girl. I can�t help it!
I am glad he has met someone he likes and could turn into love by the sound of him. Sigh.
When is that going to happen for me?�.see it�s always about me. I should just be thrilled and excited for him and I am but I�m also upset.
In the words of Pauline Fucking Hansen, Please explain!?!?
SIGH
all text is the � of Ms Do