2004-07-07
Last night I called D and told him not to come back. I think he was glad really; it would have been a really stupid move for him to come back for the weekend then fly back up. If it�s going happen it will. I didn�t want the pressure and nor did I want to place any on him. I�m not that bad that I can�t manage on my own for another couple of weeks. And in reality I could change my mind and so could he, in fact I think the distance is a good thing. I don�t want another disaster story to recall in here�. smile.On another note I was talking with nerddette last night and we got onto several subjects but one that really had an impact on me was the �Baggage� issue that you take from on relationship to another. Having 2 kids (under the age of 12) I would have thought that I was Cargo-Baggage, well because kids are hard to take if they are not yours. Not that my children have ever met any of my so called lovers or fleeting ships, whatever you want to call them. D I would think has Carry-on-Luggage because his children are 18, 20, 21 almost out on there own except one.
But as Nerdette pointed out that she classifies baggage as someone that doesn�t have the ability to be able to be stand-alone and support him or her and needs constant care and is high maintenance. Well I�m not like that so yes I think I�m more of a Carry-on-Luggage type person. Everyone has some sort of luggage whether they like it or not. Those are the complexities or life history that makes you yoursef. It�s just if you are able to or have even thought of dealing with it that you become a 5,000kgs type of carrier or and 10kgs type of person. It�s the way you pack it and carry it. She used this analogy. A backpacker can carry say 100 kgs of stuff all round Europe and does it by it him or herself then that�s ok they have packed well. But there might be someone that has a cosmetic bag that leaves it for someone else to pick up and carry then they are high maintenance.
Well thing is I carry everything round here and I have done even in the old marriage I had. I�d just like a small escape from that from time to time in the form of fun. I�m willing (I think) to support someone else through a few rough times as long as they are willing to do that for me.
Really I have no idea what kind of baggage D has or how he packs it and frankly having worn those beer googles I was wearing on Saturday night how the hell would I know. I just know he made me laugh a lot and he was attentive, kind, caring and did not place any pressure on me for anything. Remains to be seen if anything else happens at all.
all text is the � of Ms Do