2004-12-15
No kids this week, feeling free, relaxed and happy to have this small window that is mine.On Monday night I went to a movie with a few girlfriends. It was something that I would not normally go and see. �Finding Neverland� with Johnny Depp, it was excellent. I had wanted to go see �Oceans 12�; I know a Hollywood blockbuster just full of names. There is however one name amongst that list that I use to just swoon over. Darling George yes that�s right Mr Clooney himself yep him.
George was the person that switched the light on for me. Let me just explain that a bit better. You all know I am divorced and have been for 6 years, I can�t believe how quickly that has come around. When your busy and happy time flies I guess. So lets say about 7 years ago, I was in a very unhappy marriage and by that time we were in separate bedrooms. Life was not good ok. I had already realised that I had to get out of the marriage but the knowing of this and the doing are 2 different things. I had been on my own within this marriage for years I was lonely really lonely and felt really unloved. Not a nice place to be.
My dream life was however very different it was full of fantastic pleasures and all sort of wonderful delights. So one night I was going off to sleep and by this stage my sexual self had all but disappeared. I did not realise that this particular sleep would be the one that I woke from a different person, motivated to change, and following through with my actions.
Darling George visited me and we had the most electrifying sex you could possibly imagine. It was so real and so vivid. In my dreams I can smell, see colour, touch, it�s real. I woke from this dream shattered that it was just a dream and I wept. I knew in that instant of waking that my own life had become so unbearable that I preferred to be in dreamland. George had switched on my light. I was ready and I took those hideous steps to change, not knowing what would happen and how I would survive on my own.
I am here and its fine, in fact I love it. I would not be who I am had I not fucked George Clooney in my dream that night. So you see when I was asked to go to the movies on Monday I had already decided that I was going to see Ocean�s 12 by myself. I told M, who is a total Johnny Depp devotee and was pressuring me to go with her�. �George is for me what Johnny is for you��.she understood but pushed harder for me to go with her. I did of course and I was totally blown away by Johnny and his performance. I�ve not liked him but just don�t have that swoon factor for Hollywood actors that she has. He was great in Pirates; in fact that movie warmed me to him. He made me laugh while the boys and I watched that movie together. So �Finding Neverland� gave me another warm view of Johnny but more his character in that movie. I enjoyed it and lets face it he is good eye candy.
So to justify my devotion to George; its not that I am like swooning over him at all, (my days of getting all hot over him while watching ER are over), he was and still is the catalyst for my moving out of my marriage and stepping into my life and if your reading this George well thankyou!!!
So I am going tonight to see Oceans 12 and I�ll report back and let you know if he still does it for me.
all text is the � of Ms Do