2005-02-14
I�m in a really contemplative mood this morning. I know why I�m here and I really think I do need to just stop and think. I had a great weekend. Friday night you know about it was just fun�. nothing will come of anything from that night. It was just surface nothing deep at all.I was driving to work this morning and just looking at my hands thinking about how they can tell a story about me. All the scars, marks, shape, texture and how they have come to be, as a little girl one vivid memory of my mothers hands come to mind, she had been gardening all day as she was cleaning them, applying moisturiser and filing her nails I looked at my mothers thumbs and prayed that mine would never be like her�s. I have a thing for thumbs I sucked mine for almost 13 years. Her thumbs now live on my hands they are exactly the same.
I have long fingers, largish knuckles and wide hands, strong hands. The veins on the back of my hands are often raised. They are honey in colour with a small smattering of freckles. I use hand cream every day, they�re moisturised.
I don�t know why I�m talking about my hands but they tell a story about everybody stories you wouldn�t expect.
I met the air con man from brunch the other morning. I�ve been on lots of coffee dates, but the place he organised to meet blew me away. It was right on the river; I�d never been there before. My hair was blowing in 6 different directions and I was awe struck by the location I tripped inside and there he was sitting with a huge smile on his face to greet me.
He was like a surprise package, I knew I had gotten a really good vibe from him but I had no idea of whom he was. He talked for ages, animated talk, laughter and deep emotional issues. I could not believe what was sitting beside me. I just want to give him wet kisses all over his face. I even had a visual of me sitting on his lap�.I had to stop and refocus I didn�t want to be giving those big doe eyes to him.
He is however only 38 and I will be 44 soon (march). He has to sort out if he wants children because I told him point blank that I am a mother and do not wish to go back to base. After 4 hours of chatter I needed to go. It was me that said ok I have to leave. Otherwise I think we would still be there.
He invited me to have brunch again on a Sunday when I don�t have the boys so that�s two weeks away.
I hope he�s thinking deeply about the things I said although I don�t remember saying anything significant I was too absorbed in listening. I hope I left some sort of impression on him�.
This is a little PS message and totally unrelated but it does point out the difference between nice men and nasty men.
Just 1 hour ago I logged onto MSN and there was D. You remember him? He called me Wench and I called him Poppy we had fantastic sex etc�.I liked him a lot, he was very chatty with me. Told me he wanted to clear things with me, I said what�s to clear? He said his conscious!! Yeah I bet, he stung me so hard. If he had been sitting in front of me I would have slapped him. Instead I said your making me so mad I have steam coming out my ears. If you need to clear something with me call me and I logged off. He told me that I deserved better that what he did�. damn right I do and he�s not part of my life. He just wants more sex. Even though I have not had any (sigh) since him I will not be going back in any direction towards him.
Oh and who is the person that's reading my entire diary from Brisbane. It's getting a bit close for comfort just let me know who you are please!!
all text is the � of Ms Do