2005-07-17
I woke this morning to SMS text from some man that wanted to meet me for coffee that afternoon. The text message was at 8am on a Sunday morning �Good Morning�. I had a conversation with him yesterday and I should have just said no, but I didn�t. I knew after that short SMS that I just didn�t want to meet him. I gave me the creeps because I felt like in the conversation he had already tagged me as his next freaking girlfriend. I decided then and there after that beep of the phone that I had to say no.There was no coffee in the fridge and I wondered to the shop up the road hoping they sold fresh coffee. Nope only freaking instant. I decided I would go buy one at a coffee shop, I took my book ended up having breakfast and a couple of coffee�s and read for a good hour and half.
Got the phone call from �that guy� and I lied to him. I told him I had actually started dating someone else and that it wouldn�t be fair to him. Gutless I know but I couldn�t say �look I just don�t think I can go out with someone that watches football, can't use a computer, use to be a gambler and that works in a tannery I want more than that and frankly I don�t want to waste my afternoon making small talk with you!� I am a bitch I can�t help it!
Spent the rest of the day just pottering round the house and cleaning and doing other pleasurable things for myself. Now just waiting for the boys to arrive home. Hope they are ok and Otis is not stressed. I don�t feel like dealing with his anxiety tonight. Could he just for once come home with out having 5 things he�s worrying about.
He has this thing that he feels he�s not going to be able to sleep. Drives me crazy cause he does sleep every night. He may not fall asleep right at 8.30 and sometimes he gets in bed with me but he always goes to sleep eventually. He told me the other day he needs a personal motivator who says to him constantly �you can go to sleep, of course you can� which is what I say to him constantly. I told him that really he has his own personal motivator he just has to unleash him and let him out. Seems I am really his personal motivator. Sometimes I wonder what his inner thoughts actually are. He must have such a shitty inner voice. I have to set about changing that for him. The mind is very powerful and he has to take charge of his own thoughts
all text is the � of Ms Do