2006-06-02
Friday�.big sigh�..always love a Friday.It has taken me until at least Wednesday before my energy returned. It didn�t help that Otis had 2 projects due in the same week. So getting home from work meant more stress just in another form. Happy to report it�s all settled back down again.
The big P came over last night and it was good to catch up with him again. We are going down the coast to visit a friend of his. I will not be consuming any bongs. I do not want a repeat of me fainting in the bathroom�.smile
Work is plodding along, my boss called this morning and told me he was not coming in, actually he told me too much information. His marriage is on the rocks according to him. That�s sad really. He also said that I need to stop asking him if it�s ok to do something and just do it. I guess really he�s telling me to take the lead and be ok with that. He realises I came from a work culture where everything was monitored and no decisions were made by me. There were at least 5 other people before me that would have to ok something plus six joint decisions. He�s told me to use my innovation and just do it. He trusts me so that�s a good thing.
I did say several times to him that �I know your boss doesn�t like me�, he said and confirmed that. He then said that I just needed to be myself and to penetrate his barrier and I would be fine. I told him that I�m not interested. I also said that someone that works in the same job for 25 years is beyond my way of thinking. I also said that he�s only 5 years older than me, the age of some of my friends, my ex-husband and that I socialise with people that age and to me he seems like 60 not 50. He�s a �control freak� and �fuddy duddy� someone I�m not really interested in getting to know. I know it�s a work situation and I do have to do that, but I need to work that out on my terms. I�m not going into his circle as the underling. I have valuable stuff to offer him, a different way of thinking for one! Much more than that, (I know he would have stuff that I would find valuable too) and I will make my way with him when I�m ready! At the moment I just see him as being particularly anal about small shit and an old woman trapped in a 50 year old man�s body. Frankly it�s a fucking turn off!
So I have all my balls in the air again and I�m juggling successfully. That is a good thing, but you know what I don�t want to juggle anymore I want to be successful with all that I do and for it to be easy (oh I still want it to be challenging but without so much stress) rather than a juggle. Hmmmm how am I going to do that? Not sure but I�ve always said �where there is a will there is a way�.
all text is the � of Ms Do