2007-04-02
Friday night I was just exhausted from the week. I opted to stay home rather than go to the movies. I feel asleep on the couch at about 9.00pm. I just can�t seem to do it. I think it must be the early morning walks or jogs as they are turning out to be plus work and the boys.So the boy�s dad has been in his new house for almost 5 months. The boys have complained from day one that their bedrooms don�t feel like theirs. They have the old beds that I bought for them when they came out of cots. I�ve been saying wait until they settle I�m sure they will get to you.
Every weekend when I pick them up they have bitch about what goes on over at Dad�s house. I�ve always been supportive of their Dad and his new partner and trying to explain that it will happen slowly. I couldn�t stand it this weekend. They were both holding back tears as they told me of what goes on over there.
You see N, Dad�s new partner has one child a girl. This little girl is gifted and totally indulged. She runs the house and N can�t step back and see that this is happening, she�s way to close to the situation. What really got me annoyed was that I rang to say I was going to be 15 mins late and she gave me this long talk about how she had to get S over to drama and she had to leave well before 12 and went on and on. She said the boys would have to be by themselves and really she was inconvenienced. I ended up saying �right oh N� and hung up.
I arrived she was nowhere to be seen. The house was opened up and the garage door was open she looked like she was nowhere near ready to leave. The boys were downstairs and we just got in the car and left.
The boys began than to voice there upset to me. They both feel that they are living in storerooms. Otis� wardrobe is full of Miss S�s dance costumes. They don�t have anything in their rooms apart from their bed and a wardrobe each which is filled with other stuff. Seamus has Stephen�s left over records that he doesn�t want in this record collection in there. They are still using the quilts and bed linen from when they were out of their cots. They are both 12 and 15 now�. Their names are not on the answering machine. It just says Dad, N and Miss S live here and its recorded by Miss S.
Dad had an accident during the week, he was ok which their first concern was and then they were excited that they were getting a new car. Turns out that Dad won�t drive the car (he gave some excuse about being worried he will crash it), that was never a concern when we were together, he thinks he is a good driver! Seamus told me that N said the boys are sweaty and she doesn�t want them in the new car. Seamus said that Dad took them for a drive and Seamus being Seamus farted and that was the end of it�� oh shit I told N that we would not smell out the car..� and went into a rage.
I rang to tell Dad that the boys had been crying about what has been happening and told him about the car and why didn�t he use it. N doesn�t want any of the boys including Dad in the car because boys and men smell. Now come on don�t you get over that fact when you get to 16 or so? I appreciate that she has only had to deal with a girl but I�m afraid is taking it too far.
I asked Stephen how Miss S felt when she went to visit her Dad? He went into this very long and detailed description on how she felt excluded and it wasn�t right etc etc�..just went on and on and I listened gasping when I needed to then I said �well in light of all that don�t you think N should treat the boys how she would like Miss S treated when she is at her fathers?� I also told him that he had to be aware of these things and stick up for the boys. It�s ok if he wants N to walk all over him but he�d better watch out for the boys because as they see it they are going to spend the weekend at N�s and not Dad�s. They feel that it�s not their place that it is definitely N�s!
Very sad indeed and if he�s not careful they won�t want to go. I push them to go as it is each week. Well no, I only push Otis, Seamus likes the fact the house is big there is a swimming pool and has a pool table. Otis said �I only use to go for the male role model which is Dad, but now that Phil is here I feel he is an excellent positive role model and I don�t need to go anymore� my reply was
�Don�t ever say that to your Dad ok, it would hurt him�
�Oh yeah!� he replied nervously giggling.
We stopped at the video shop on the way home and got out �Little Miss Sunshine�, they absolutely loved that DVD. Really we just hung out had lots of debriefing talking session and just chilled for the day.
Most of Sunday was spent at rugby and then I asked them would they help me with the grocery shopping and they did! What a difference that was taking them. I use to hate going with them because everything cost so much more. They helped they didn�t ask for anything and they made me laugh as we went round each isle. I think they have grown up.
I woke at 5am this morning and sent of a final text message to Phil. He was just about to board the plane and rang me to say he could hardly wait to be home with me. I�m so looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. One more sleep!�.smile
all text is the � of Ms Do